Let’s talk about being a MILF shall we?
Labels can often be offensive, oppressive or simply wrong but MILF is one of my favorite labels! I mean that, sincerely. I take no offense to it, I actually welcome it. I think it’s hilarious and snarky and since I don’t take myself too seriously as soon as I became a Mom it should come as no surprise that I openly and publicly started referring to myself as a MILF.
“Hash-brown (#) OMG I can’t believe you’re a Mom still?!?!?” As my little brother likes to put it.
As I’ve mentioned before I became a single Mom when I was just 10 weeks pregnant, cue the hormones and anxiety. Single Mom. WOMP! I mean GAWD, is there anything just more MEH sounding when you are just becoming a Mom. Hi, I’m Lindsey and I’m a single Mom. To me there wasn’t. It sounded so bad, I just hated it. I hated saying it, I hated referring to myself as a single Mom, I hated thinking about it, it terrified me.
So I improvised and a MILF was made.
When you are a single Mom there is judgement. And I felt it. People probably don’t even realize they are doing it but when I would tell people I was pregnant you could physically watch their eyes move from my belly down to my left hand, ring finger. Where there ain’t no bling to be seen! Judgement.
This would then spark something in me that felt like I needed to explain why I was having a child out of wedlock. Stumbling through some lame breakup story that hurt worse to tell and left me feeling like a failure of a Mother already and she was only the size of a eggplant!
So I started referring to myself as a MILF; lightly at first and when Evelyn was born it really picked up, as Mom duties do when the actual human arrives. To other people, on social media, even at work, I’d catch myself saying single Mom and then immediately correct myself and say, ‘I much prefer MILF.’
When I talked about myself on infamous first dates in this manner it lightened the mood. Dating with a child isn’t easy, {uh duh} and it made talking about having a kid and even being back in the dating world a little easier. There is a reason these two things don’t mix but we will broach that subject on a different day in a different post!
Most people laughed. A couple questioned it, MILF, what? So I would just explain where I was coming from. If I was going to be labeled by everyone, why couldn’t I choose the words they labeled me with? I choose ‘MILF’ not ‘single Mom.’ I think the biggest surprise was when the Father of my Daughter chastised me over calling myself a MILF. For a split second I was embarrassed. Who did I think I was, hot?!?!?! Uhhhhhh…. YA! Actually I do! I’m a self confident, self assured, grown ass woman. I know who I am, I know what I stand for so why am I apologizing to the world for a label I put on myself (that I much prefer)? Especially when they are all OK labeling me with words they are just more comfortable with. Also to the Father of my Daughter I wanted to scream, it wasn’t that long ago you were all about my MILFY goodies so lock it up sweetheart!
Tell me, what is really SO bad about making myself feel hot and empowered as a Mom and a woman instead of making myself feel single, alone and terrified?!?! Just by simply changing my mind set and outlook with a label. I tell ya labels can be dangerous if used incorrectly!
I actually tried using the hashtag MILF on Instagram for Basic Columbus (it pulls a surprising number of followers, shameful) and it could or could not be one of the many reasons we’ve been blocked. It’s still unclear. So I don’t recommend the hashtag and its understandable because the images are not wholesome, like this blog, which is very wholesome! Hahahaha 🙂
#MILF
If you don’t know what MILF stands for, God love ya! It’s an acronym that I am not going to spell out but any urban dictionary or Google will be happy to clear up any confusion!
All Photos Taken By Brittany Saxe Photography
(30ish weeks Pregnant)
